family jokes

Category: "Family Jokes"
$25.00 won 7 votes

Rushing to get to the movies, my husband and I told the kids we had to leave "right now" — at which point our teenage daughter headed for the bathroom to apply makeup. Her dad yelled for her to get in the car immediately, and headed for the garage grumbling.

On the way to the multiplex my husband glanced in the rearview mirror and caught our teen applying lipstick and blush, which produced the predictable lecture. "Look at your mom," he said. "She didn’t put on any makeup just to go sit in a dark movie theater."

From the back I heard, "Yeah, but Mom doesn’t need makeup." My heart swelling with the compliment, I turned back to thank this sweet, wonderful daughter of mine just as she continued, "Nobody looks at her."

7 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "stee" |
3 votes

My aunt and her 7 year-old daughter, Lisa, were talking at breakfast one morning when Lisa said, "Mommy, how come you have these gray hairs coming in on the top of your head?"

My Aunt replied, "Well sweetie, every time that you make mommy worry or tell a lie, I get a new gray hair."

Lisa, having this perplexed look on her face, then raises her head to look my aunt straight in the eyes. She then asks, "Is that why grandma is all gray mommy?"

3 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Michael Stephen Douglas" |
1 votes

Stella, 6, and her mommy were talking.

Stella: "I'll bet you can't wait 'til I'm a teenager!"

Mommy: "Actually, I can."

Stella: "Why?"

Mommy: "Because I like you being sweet."

Stella: "I'll still be sweet when I'm a teenager. I'll just have an awkward way of showing it."

1 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
$9.00 won 8 votes

A young boy was looking through some old family photos and asked his mother, "Who is the guy on the beach with you with all the muscles and curly hair?"

"That's your father."

"Then who's that man who lives with us now?"

8 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Leibel" |