family jokes

I've always wondered what my parents did in their spare time when there were no iPhones, computers, television, and such...

I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and they didn't seem to know the answer either.

A woman from New York was getting her affairs in order. She prepared her will and made her final arrangements. As part of these arrangements she met with her pastor to talk about what type of funeral service she wanted, etc.

She told her pastor she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdale's.

"Bloomingdale's!" the pastor said. "Why Bloomingdale's?"

"That way, I know my daughters will visit me twice a week."

Worried that his son was spending too much money on dates, a father asked the boy how much his last date had cost.

The son thought for a minute and then replied, "Oh, about $15 I think."

"Well," said the father, "I'm proud of you for finally coming up with an inexpensive evening."

"To be honest Dad," the son went on, "we'd have spent more, but that was all the money she had."

I walked into my sister's kitchen and found my nephew having a snack. "Where's your mother?" I asked.

"She is upstairs, said she was going to take a shower. Hang on, let me check."

He stepped into the nearby bathroom and flushed the toilet. A second later a sharp yell came from upstairs.

My nephew walked back out and said, "Yep, she's in the shower."