family jokes

When Diane found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen. Her 4-year-old son overheard some of his parents private conversations.

One day, when Diane and her 4-year-old were shopping, a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby.

"Yes!" the 4-year-old said, "and I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a girl we're going to call her Christina, and if it's another boy we're going to call it quits!"

Due to a power outage, the house was very dark. The paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her Mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby.

After little Connor was born, the paramedic lifted him by his feet and spanked him on the bottom. He began to cry.

The paramedic then asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. She quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place, spank him again!"

(Husband to wife) If I could write a check for a million dollars, I could afford to be eccentric.

(Wife) Keep working at it honey, at this point in time you can only afford to be delusional.