family jokes
Favorite this joke It was Thanksgiving day and the hall bathroom was not working. There was another bathroom off the master bedroom, so the mother asked her pre-teen daughter to put a sign on the hall bathroom door and then close it.
Due to the busyness of all the preparations for the big event, the mother never had the opportunity to even walk by the hallway bathroom until all her guests had left that day. When she finally did pass the hallway bathroom, she saw the sign her young daughter had written and left on the door.
It read: "Out of odor."
The phone bill was exceptionally high. Man called a family meeting to discuss the matter.
Dad: "This is unacceptable, I don't use the home phone, I use my work phone."
Mom: "Me too, I use my company phone. I hardly use the home phone."
Son: "I use my office mobile. I never use the home phone."
All of them shocked turned to look at the maid who was patiently listening to them all this time.
Maid: "What? So we all use our work phones, what is the big deal?"
I was hospitalized for a few days, and my wife reported that my dog really missed me. "She spends the night at the front door, awaiting your return," she said.
"What an example of true love," I replied. "I wonder if you'd be that concerned about me?"
"Honey," my wife answered, "if you were gone overnight, and I didn't know where you were, you can be sure I'd be waiting for you at the front door."
John was a salesman's' delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change. One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.
It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 14 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late. "Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?" asked John.
"Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project," said Tommy. The robot then walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.
"Son," said John, "this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school?"
"We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie," said Tommy.
"What did you watch?" asked Marsha.
"The Ten Commandments," answered Tommy. The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair. With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, "I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen."
"I am ashamed of you son," said John. "When I was your age, I never lied to my parents." The robot then walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair.
Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, "Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!"
With that, the robot immediately walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.
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