family jokes

One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her traditional parents and they were appalled by his appearance... leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose.

Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Dear," said the mother diplomatically, "he doesn't seem very nice."

"Oh please, Mom," replied the daughter, "if he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"

An elderly man was remembering the good old days. “When I was young, my mom could send me to a shop with a single dollar, and I would bring back 5 pounds of potatoes, 2 breads, a bottle of milk, a piece of cheese, and 10 eggs.

Nowadays that is impossible... there are simply too many security cameras!

My cousin was in love and wanted to introduce his bride-to-be to his super-critical mother. But in order to get an unbiased opinion, he invited over three other female friends as well and didn’t tell his mom which one he intended to marry. After the four women left, he asked his mother, "Can you guess which one I want to marry?"

"The one with short hair."

"Yes! How’d you know?"

"Because that’s the one I didn’t like."