family jokes

A husband had been away for a few months and had a romantic evening planned for he and his wife. He sent the two older kids to the movies but could not persuade the youngest boy to go along.

Finally he makes a deal with the boy. If the boy will go sit on the curb in front of their house, the father will give the boy 5 bucks for every man he sees go by in a red hat.

A while later the little boy comes running into the house and bangs on the bedroom door and shouts: "Dad, if you think you're getting screwed in there, you'd better come outside, 'cause there's a Shriner's convention going past."

An uneducated father with his educated son went on a camping trip. They set up their tent and fell asleep. Some hours later, the father woke up his son.

Father: Look up to the sky and tell me what you see.

Son: I see millions of stars...

Father: And what does that tell you?

Son: Astronomically, it tells me that, there are millions of galaxies and planets out there!

Father slaps the son hard on his hand and says, "Idiot, someone has stolen our tent!"

The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, "I'm so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us."

The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that my dear," she asked.

The little boy replied, "I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again."