family jokes
Favorite this joke My wife told me that I did not love any of her relatives...
I told her that is not true. I said, "I love your mother-in-law and father-in-law much more than I love mine."
A family took their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and left her there, hoping she would be well cared for. The next morning the nurses bathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.
She seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt sideways in her chair.Two attentive nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt over to her other side. The nurses rushed back and once more brought her back upright. This went on all morning. Later, the family arrived to see how the old woman was adjusting to her new home.
"So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?"
"It's pretty nice," she replied. "Except they won't let me fart."
One night, a torrential rain storm soaked South Louisiana. The next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes. Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Mrs. Thibodeaux, waiting for help to come.
Mrs. Thibodeaux noticed a baseball cap floating near the house. She saw it float far out into the front yard then float back to the house. It kept floating away from the house then back towards the house. Her curiosity got the best of her so she asked Mrs. Boudreaux, "Do you see that there baseball cap a floatin' away from the house, then back again?"
Mrs. Boudreaux said, "Oh yeah, that's my husband. I told that jackass he gonna cut the grass today come hell or high water!"
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.
One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.
As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, ‘The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
Free Daily Joke