Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her husband.
"Henry," she said, "I've just received a letter from mother saying she isn't accepting our invitation to come and stay, as we do not appear to want her. What does she mean by that? I told you to write and say that she was to come at her own convenience. You did write, didn't you?"
"Er, yes, I did," said the husband. "But I couldn't spell convenience, so I went with risk instead."
After officiating at a baptism the priest was invited back to the parents home for tea and cake. He changed out of his vestments and went to the home where one little 4-year old boy kept staring at his white collar.
The priest finally said to the little boy, "Do you know what the white collar means that I am wearing?"
"Yes I do.", the little boy said.
"It means that you won't have flees or ticks for three months."
The cool part about naming your kid is you don’t have to add six numbers to make sure the name is available.
My 13-year-old grandson spent a beautiful Saturday playing video games.
His older sister tried coaxing him outside by warning, “Someday, you’re going to be 30 years old, single, and living in Mom’s basement playing video games all day!”
He reply: “I can only dream.”