family jokes

Child: Mom! Can I have a piece of your gum (Certs), please?
Mom: Sweetie. This is a breath freshener gum. It might be too strong for you.
Child: No it won't, Mom. See (while flexing his arm muscles), I have big muscles.

Joan and her neighbor are talking about their daughters, Joan says, my daughter is at the university. She’s very bright, you know. Every time we get a letter from her we have to go to the dictionary.
Her neighbor says you are lucky every time we hear from our daughter we have to go to the bank.

“Dad, the career counselor said that with a mind like mine I should study criminal law.”
“That is wonderful, son. I’m proud of you.”
“He said I had a criminal mind.”

“How are you getting on with your football, Jack?”
“Well, Dad, pretty good. The coach said I was one of the team’s greatest drawbacks!”