family jokes

One day this guy had trouble with his blinkers on his car. So another guy comes and says, "Is there a problem with your car sir", yes there is. So he says can you see if my blinkers work, sure. Then when he flicked the switch, the guy said, left, right, on, off!

The parents of a difficult boy were discussing what to give him for a birthday present. The mother said, “Let’s buy him a bicycle.”
“Well,” said the father, “maybe – but do you think it will improve his behavior?”
“Probably not,” said the mother, “but it will spread it over a wider area.”

A small boy came running downstairs, shouting, “Mom! Mom! I cleaned my room without being told!”
“Well,” said the mother, “that's wonderful! Thank you very much. It will same me a lot of trouble, and it shows you are growing up.”
“Yeah, but, Mom,” said the boy, “don’t jump to conclusions.”
I don’t understand, dear,” said his mother. “Conclusions?”
“Yeah, Mom” said the boy. “This isn’t going to become a habit.”

During a dinner party, the hosts’ two little children entered the dinning room totally nude and walked slowly around the table.

The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept he conversation going. The guests cooperated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening.

After going all the way around the room, the children left, and there was a moment of silence at the table, during which one child was heard to say, “You see, it is vanishing cream!”