family jokes

A high-school student came home from school seeming rather depressed.

“What’s the matter son?” asked his mother.

“Aw, gee,” said the boy, “it’s my marks. They’re all wet.”

“What do you mean, 'all wet'?” she asks.

“I mean,” he replied, “well below C-level.”

In the name of the Lord God: One day a sergeant came back home and said to his wife: Everything has changed in the army. From now on, he added, we are free to follow the orders of our officers and we can discuss the matters with them. His wife answered: That is in the army. Here at home none of that. Get up and wash the dishes!

One day a boy asked his grandpa "grandpa make a frog sound"
The grandfather asked why?
The boy said, "Grandma says when you croak we are going to Hawaii”

A man was speeding down the highway and a cop pulled him over and gave him a ticket after staring at it he asked, "WHEN'S THE RAFFLE?"