family jokes

A man whose son had just passed his driving test went home one evening and found that the boy had driven slap into the living room.
“How on earth did you manage to do that?” he fumed.
“Quite simple, Dad. I came in through the kitchen and turned left!”

“So”, thundered Larry’s furious father, “you’ve been expelled from college, have you?
“Yes, Dad. I am a fugitive from a brain gang.”

John and Tony were in the bar, pondering over Tony’s problems. “Andrea and I want to get married,” said Tony, “but we can’t find anywhere to live.”

“Why don’t you live with Andrea’s parents for a while?” suggested John.

“We can’t do that,” said Tony, “they’re living with their parents for a while too.”

A dirty little boy was playing at the playground and walked up to his mother and asked, "Who am I?" The mother replied, "I don't know! Who are you?" the little boy said excitedly, "WOW! My teacher was right. She said that I was so dirty that even my own mother wouldn't recognize me."