When a man with nine children was asked how he handled illness among his children, he said, "When the first born coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance. When the last one swallowed a quarter, I told him that it was coming out of his allowance!"
Customer: "Waiter, waiter, what’s this fly doing in my soup?"
The waiter leans forward to get a better look.
Waiter: “Looks like the backstroke, sir.”
A family was having dinner and the little boy said,"Dad I don't like the
holes in the cheese!" Well son, eat the cheese and leave the holes on the
side of the plate.
It is truly said that children brighten a home - they never turn the lights off.