A child asked his father, "How were people born?"
So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."
The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."
The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!"
His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
One man says to another man, "I nicknamed my wife after a flower. I call her 'Rose."
Second man says, "I nicknamed my wife after a flower also! I call her snapdragon!"
I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world.
I told them to buzz off!!!!!
Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!!
A couple went to the psychiatrist with their twins, as they seemed to be completely opposite. The doctor noted that one was a Pessimist and one was an optimist.
He put the pessimist in a room filled with new toys. He then, put the optimist in a room full of horse poop.
After a period of time, they looked into the pessimist's room and he was stepping on and breaking all the toys, saying, "I don't like these....none of them!"
They went to the optimist's room that was full of manure, about chest deep and found the little boy yelling, "Whee! Whee!", and throwing handfuls of manure up in the air.
They asked him why he was doing that and he replied, "With all this horse poop in here, there's bound to be a pony somewhere!"