Father in a conversation with a neighbor...
First son: Degree in Economics
Second son: MBA
Third son: PhD
Fourth son: Thief
Neighbor: Why can't you throw the fourth son out of your house?
Father: He is the only one earning money. The rest are unemployed.
The only contest I ever won in my family was eating the most paint chips!
Most loving mothers change many smelly diapers. Every day.
Yet, they absolutely lose it when their husbands pass gas.
Go figure.
A cruise ship full of Mother-in-Laws was heading towards Hawaii for a week when their ship capsized killing everyone. Their families cried for a for a whole week. But after 3 weeks one man was still crying, so the people asked him what was wrong? Why are you still crying? The man replies, "My Mother-in-Law missed the darn boat!