family jokes

Category: "Family Jokes"
$50.00 won 15 votes

Tom was walking down the street when he sees a funeral procession. At the head was the casket, behind was a man walking a very large dog and behind him were 300 people. Tom walks over to the guy with the dog and asks, "Who’s funeral is this?"

The man answers, “My mother-in-law’s.”

Tom wishes his condolences and asks, “She must of been a very important person, but what’s with the dog?”

"This is the dog that killed her.”

So Tom asks, “Can I borrow the dog for an hour?”

He responds, “Get in line!”

15 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "mickey" |
1 votes

My daughter asked if I could help her explain the concept of “modern math” to her youngest. I said sure, he just needs practical life experience and he’ll understand.

Just take him to the store, pass it a few times, then circle it once or twice before you pull into the parking lot.

1 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Marty" |
0 votes

A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father. He got some of his clothes, his teddy bear and his piggy bank and proudly announced, "I'm running away from home!"

The father calmly decided to look at the matter logically. "What if you get hungry?" he said.

"Then I'll come home and eat!" declared the child, bravely.

"And what if you run out of money?"

"I will come home and get some!" readily replied the child.

The man then made a final attempt, "What if your clothes get dirty?"

"Then I'll come home and let mommy wash them," was the reply.

The man shook his head and exclaimed, "This kid is not running away from home, he's going off to college!!!"

0 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "merk" |
0 votes

I was getting ready to go to choir practice when I heard my dad say, "Don't forget a bucket."

Confused, I replied, "A bucket? Why?"

“You’ll need something to help you carry a tune."

0 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "ERS" |