family jokes

Grandpa: I can't find the send button on my cell phone.
Granddaughter: I see the problem grandpa, you're using a calculator.

Grandpa: It's always a calculated risk doing things without my reading glasses.
Granddaughter: No wonder things didn't add up.
Grandpa: Very "Punny" young lady, you're as bad as I am!

Granddaughter: And exactly how did you arrive at that equation?
Grandpa: Time for my nap, I rest my case!

My brother was sort of odd. I remember once on his birthday he fell down a dry well, so we lowered his birthday cake to him.

He didn't even tug on the rope to say thanks.

Little boy to a departing relative... "There's no hurry, Auntie. Daddy put the clock a whole hour ahead."

Son: "Dad, what is 'creeping inflation'?"

Father: "It's when your mother starts out asking for new shoes and ends up with a complete new outfit."