family jokes

I went to a funeral yesterday where a vigil was held over the dearly departed while a document was read so everyone could find out who was left what.

That tells me, where there's a will, there's a wake.

Photographer to young man: "It will make a much better picture if you put your hand on your father's shoulder."

Father: "It would be much more realistic if he had his hand in my pocket."

A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?"

"Well, Honey..." said the boy's mom, "the stork brought you to us."

"Oh," said the boy. "Well, how did you and daddy get born?" he asked.

"Oh, the stork brought us too," chimed in the dad.

"Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" he persisted.

"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the mom, by now starting to squirm a little in the Lazy Boy recliner.

Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence: "This report has been very difficult to write because there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."