family jokes

Due to a power outage, the house was very dark. The paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her Mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby.

After little Connor was born, the paramedic lifted him by his feet and spanked him on the bottom. He began to cry.

The paramedic then asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. She quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place, spank him again!"

(Husband to wife) If I could write a check for a million dollars, I could afford to be eccentric.

(Wife) Keep working at it honey, at this point in time you can only afford to be delusional.

I went to a funeral yesterday where a vigil was held over the dearly departed while a document was read so everyone could find out who was left what.

That tells me, where there's a will, there's a wake.