family jokes

(Husband to wife) If I could write a check for a million dollars, I could afford to be eccentric.

(Wife) Keep working at it honey, at this point in time you can only afford to be delusional.

I went to a funeral yesterday where a vigil was held over the dearly departed while a document was read so everyone could find out who was left what.

That tells me, where there's a will, there's a wake.