A boy was getting a checkup at the doctor's office, while his mother was in the waiting room. Trying to get some information out of the boy, the nurse asked, "What's your mother's name?"
The boy replied, "Mom."
The nurse said, "Well, what does your dad call her?"
The boy responded, "Tammy." The nurse wrote this down. She did the same thing, only with the father as the subject, and got the same reply, "Dad."
As a last resort, she remarked, once again, "What does your mom call him?"
The boy looked up at her with big innocent eyes and said, "Idiot."
"Daddy, did you know that girls are smarter than boys?"
"No, I didn’t know that."
"There you go."
A boy breaks an old vase at a rich uncle‘s house. The uncle gets extremely angry and yells, “Do you even know how old the vase was? It was from the 17th century!”
The boy sighed in relief, “Oh good, I'm relieved that it wasn’t new.”
"Why are you home? I thought you were going to the school dance after school?"
"I did attend but I don't know how to dance. Mr. Greeley, my math teacher gave me some advice. He said it’s easy to dance just put one foot in front of the other. So I did... and next I know I wound up here!"