family jokes

When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad.

He said, "I want my daughter back by 8:15."

I said, "The middle of August? Cool!"

My Irish mother-in-law gave me an “Irish Blessing” just before my wife and I went on vacation.

I’d feel better about the “may the wind be at your back” thing if we weren’t going to the Grand Canyon this year.

My last name is Pines.

My parents named me Phillip.

I've never forgiven them for that.

And no, I've NEVER been there!

"Darling, in the moonlight your teeth are like pearls."

"Oh really! And when were you in the moonlight with Pearl?"