family jokes
Favorite this joke Back in the day the police didn’t need to speak to us "in handcuffs”...
Mainly because our parents spoke a strange universal a language called "consequences".
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "Just do it!"
A successful businessman wanted to send his elderly mother a very special gift for her birthday, a rare South American endangered bird valued at $5,000.
When he called his mother to see how she liked the surprise gift he was shocked when she said, "It was quite small, but tasted very good."
He asked her, after her shocking reply, "Mom, that was a $5000 bird that can speak five languages and you ate him?"
"Well, if he could speak five languages he should have spoken up."
(Father) Your mother tells me your first prom dance is coming up!
(Son) Yes, but I don’t think I’m going. What if I ask a girl and she says no?
(Father) Son, never fear rejection. Just keep asking until some nice young lady accepts your invitation.
(Son) Did you go to your first prom dance?
(Father) I sure did and I never let rejection hold me back!
(Son) Does this mean the first girl you asked said no?
(Father) Yes. In fact, many said no but I didn’t give up.
(Son) Did you have fun?
(Father) I sure did! And if you don’t believe me, ask your Aunt Suzy, we had a ball.
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