family jokes
Favorite this joke Five year old Frankie's parents bought him some new shoes. It had been raining so they told Frankie, "You can't walk in mud puddles with your new shoes."
Frankie went outside as his parents watched from the window. The first thing Frankie did was go to the nearest mud puddle and began to stop his feet in the muddy water.
With the biggest smile on his face Frankie ran back into the house and announced his shoes work just fine in mud puddles.
Top 10 List of what Moms REALLY want...
10. To be able to eat a whole candy bar (alone) and drink a soda without any floaties, ie... backwash.
9. To have my 14 year-old daughter answer a question without rolling her eyes in that, "Why is this person my mother?" way.
8. Five pounds of chocolate that won't add twenty.
7. A shower without a child peeking through the curtain with a "Hi Ya Mom!" just as I put a razor to my ankle.
6. A full time cleaning person - period!
5. For my teenager to announce, "Hey, Mom! I got a full scholarship and a job all in the same day!"
4. A grocery store that doesn't have candy/gum/toys displayed at the checkout line.
3. To have a family meal without a discussion about bodily secretions.
2. To be able to step on a plane with my toddlers and NOT have someone moan, "Oh no! Why me!"
And #1... Four words: Fisher Price Play Prison
A Grandmother asked her teenage grandson to lightly water the plants outside in the backyard, but to not wet the grass because the younger grandchildren wanted to go out to play in the yard. She didn't want the yard to be muddy for them to walk through. The teenage grandson happily said he understood and went outside to begin watering the plants.
A few moments later the Grandmother looked out the window and was surprised to see her teenage grandson using the water hose to spray water all over the grass in the yard. She ran outside to ask him why he was soaking the grass in water, causing the entire yard to turn muddy.
He replied, "To rinse the morning dew off the grass so it won't be wet when the kids come out to play."
Back in the day the police didn’t need to speak to us "in handcuffs”...
Mainly because our parents spoke a strange universal a language called "consequences".
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