A men's Sunday school teacher asked the men how they would spend the next 30 days if they knew the world would end. The first man said, "I would spend it on a mission to Africa."
They all agreed this was a great idea. The second man said, "I would volunteer at the local hospital and help as many as possible."
They all agreed this was a worthy goal as well. The third man said if he only had 30 days to live he would spend every minute with his ex-wife. They were all shocked at his answer as he had endured a most miserable marriage to a shrew.
"Why would you want to spend your last 30 days with a woman you hated?" they asked.
'Well, I really am not looking forward to the end of the world and I would want to delay it as long as possible. And believe me, living with my ex-wife would make 30 days seem like an eternity!"
Henry believes so strongly in reincarnation, that he has himself as the only beneficiary in his will.
It was a long season for my son's baseball team with a 0-11 record. All of the players were new and prone to errors, strikeouts and poor pitching.
One Friday afternoon my son came crashing through the door and announced his team had played the best game of the year. "What did you win by?" I asked.
He replied, "Oh, we were beat 32 to 2, but it's the first game where no one made an error!"
Success comes in baby steps.
After finishing the 'cured ham' dinner, Mable asked her husband, "I wonder what the ham was cured of?"