Alan Valentine Profile

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Alan Valentine

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Member Since : Jan, 2015
# of jokes posted : 178
# of followers : 5
# of following: 4
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 61.00
1 votes

Some preteens were hanging out near the entrance to the local hardware store.
"Let's do something dangerous," said Billy.

"Like what?" asked Joey.

"See all those brooms hanging up in the window?" answered Billy. "I dare one of you to take one of those and run out of the store."

Freddy replied, "What would that prove, Billy?"

"How brave we are. It'll be just for fun. And we'll return it right away and apologize."

"Then why don't you do it? Just go in there and grab one of those short brooms," said Joey.

"Aw, I was just kidding, guys," replied Billy. "I'm not a whisk taker!"

1 votes
posted by "Alan Valentine" |
0 votes

Two zombies were discussing how they were going to go out and satisfy their appetites.

"I think we need to be a little more authoritative and menacing," Zac said. "These potential victims seem to be taking us for granted."

"I don't know about that," replied Hal. "I think a subdued, common sense approach is the better way to go. That way they're more likely to let their guard down."

"I've listened to you take the polite approach when you get the urge to munch on gray matter," countered Zac. "I don't think that gets the job done."

"How so?"

"Well, for one thing, you DON'T ask your victim, 'Can I pick your brain?'"

0 votes
posted by "Alan Valentine" |
0 votes

Two skeletons were discussing their girlfriends.

"I think Bonnie is cheating on me."

"What makes you think that?"

"I don't know. I just feel it in my bones."

0 votes
posted by "Alan Valentine" |
0 votes

Some vacationers at their campsite were cooking fish over an open fire when a storm suddenly moved in.

Before the campers could run for cover, a burst of lightning came down and struck a skillet that was resting on the coals in front of them.

That's what you call a flash in the pan!

0 votes
posted by "Alan Valentine" |