family jokes

We were standing in line outside a busy restaurant. The harried hostess was checking to find out how many people were in each group. "Party of two," the woman behind us said to her, "and could we please have Michelle?"

Annoyed looks turned to knowing smiles when she added, "Michelle is my daughter, and just once in my life I want her to wait on me!"

A long time ago, a father, visiting America for the very first time, went up and down the aisles with his son-in-law at the local store.

He constantly asked questions about products he saw, "Vas diss? Powdered orange juice?"

"Yeah, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh orange juice."

A few minutes later, in a different aisle, "Und vas dis? Powdered milk?"

"Yeah, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh milk!"

A few minutes later, in a different aisle, "Und give a look here! Baby Powder! Vat a country, vat a country!"

A mom's teenage son was having trouble mastering the fine points of balancing his new checking account.

"The bank returned the check you wrote to the sporting goods store," she said.

"Oh good," he said, "Now I can use it to buy a new iPad!"

Kathy was shopping in the mall with her two children and a display in the window of a lingerie store caught her eye.

"Do you think Daddy would like this?" she asked the kids, as she pointed to the lacy pajamas with matching robe.

"No way," four-year-old Rian replied. "Daddy would NEVER wear that!"