A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey.”
The horse says, “You read my mind, buddy.”
I saw a driver texting and driving...
It made me so mad I threw my beer at him.
Daughter: Dad there’s a moth on the outside of the bathroom door. Can you get rid of it?
Daughter: Please hurry because I’m going to cry.
Dad: Dad is dead. You’re next. Love, Moth
Mom: How make chicken
Mom: Where buy chicken
Daughter: Mom, this isn’t Google.