I saw a driver texting and driving...
It made me so mad I threw my beer at him.
Daughter: Dad there’s a moth on the outside of the bathroom door. Can you get rid of it?
Daughter: Please hurry because I’m going to cry.
Dad: Dad is dead. You’re next. Love, Moth
Mom: How make chicken
Mom: Where buy chicken
Daughter: Mom, this isn’t Google.
Seen on the door of a repair shop:
WE CAN FIX ANYTHING! (Please knock on the door—the bell doesn’t work.)