Father: "Hold your horses, son."
5-year-old: "I don't have any horses."
Father: "It means calm down."
5-year-old: "I can't, my horses are gone."
I come from a large family, five sisters and three brothers. My sisters and I were looking through the family photo album one day. Picture after picture, we were all dressed in matching clothes. I asked my mother why she dressed us all alike, right down to the baby.
She explained, "When we had just four children, I dressed you alike so we wouldn't lose any of you. Then," she added, looking at the pictures in the album, "When the other four came along, I started dressing you alike so we won't pick up any that don't belong to us."
Matt: "It's times like this that I wish I'd listened to what my Dad always said."
Jake: "What did he say?"
"I don't know, I wasn't listening."
At the airport for his 9-year-old son's first big trip by himself, after checking in on the phone with Grandma and Grandpa.
Dad - "So what did Grandma say on the phone?"
Son - "She said I love you, can't wait to see you, we're going to have so much fun...and...uh...something about 'We will rot you?'"
Dad - "Do you mean 'spoil you?'"
Son - "Yes! That's the word. I couldn't find it in my brain."