family jokes

Category: "Family Jokes"
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GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they are sure you are not raising them right.

HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

IMPREGNABLE: a women whose memory of labor is still vivid.

INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

OW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings.

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CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
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Teacher: "Complete the following sentence, 'Early to bed and early to rise...'"

Student: "... This Man has neither WiFi nor Wife!"

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CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Leogal" |
$15.00 won 7 votes

A child psychologist had twin boys—one was an optimist; the other, a pessimist. Just to see what would happen, on Christmas Day he loaded the pessimist’s room with toys and games. In the optimist’s room, he dumped a pile of horse droppings.

That night, the father found the pessimist surrounded by his gifts, crying.

“What’s wrong?” the father asked.

“I have a ton of game manuals to read … I need batteries … and my toys will all eventually get broken!” sobbed the pessimist.

Passing the optimist’s room, the father found him dancing for joy around the pile of droppings. “Why are you so happy?” he asked.

The optimist shouted, “There’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!”

7 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "srg" |
$9.00 won 5 votes

Dad rarely dresses up, so when he left the bedroom decked out in a suit and tie, he wanted to commemorate the moment.

Handing me his camera, he asked, “Mind taking a selfie of me?”

5 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Mary" |