family jokes

Category: "Family Jokes"
3 votes

My neighbor’s wife came running up to me in the driveway the other day just jumping for joy! I didn’t know why she was jumping for joy but I started jumping up and down along with her.

She said, “I have some really great news!”

I said, “Great. Tell me what you’re so happy about.”

She stopped jumping just long enough to tell me that she was pregnant. I was happy for her. I know they have been trying for a long time. I told her, “That’s great! I couldn’t be happier for you!”

Then she said “Oh, there’s more!”

I asked, “What do you mean ‘more’?”

She said, “Well, we’re not having just ONE baby. We’re going to have TWINS!”

Amazed that she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked how she knew this.

She said, “Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and bought the Twin-Pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests came out positive!”

3 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$7.00 won 6 votes

A housewife with three young children was getting dinner ready when the phone rang. The six-year-old picked it up and said, "Hi, Daddy!" and she began telling him about her day.

She then passed the phone to her brother and sister as was the custom whenever Daddy called from work.

When it was finally the wife's turn to talk she took the receiver and said, "Hi, honey."

"Thank goodness, lady," the voice on the other end replied. "I just called to tell you that the wallpaper you ordered is here!"

6 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "wadejagz" |
4 votes

After a long day of shopping, my daughter and I stopped at a grocery store. I ran in to pick up a few things, leaving her in the car. As I approached the checkout I was surprised to see my daughter there waiting for me.

"Honey," I said, "what are you doing in here? I left the motor running."

"It's all right, Mom," she replied reassuringly. "I locked the doors."

4 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
3 votes

“Mom, dad, sit down. I have something very important to tell you,” said Samantha, upon her return home from college after graduation.

“I met a guy who lives near the college that I really like and we decided we are going to get married!”

“Oh Samantha! I am so happy for you!” gushed her mom giving, her a big hug. “I hope you two will be really happy together! I can’t wait to meet him!”

“Tell us more about him” said her dad, “does he have any money?”

“Oh Dad! Is that all you men ever think about? That was the first question he asked me about you too!”

3 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |