When we moved cross-country, my wife and I decided to drive both of our cars. Nathan, our eight-year-old, worriedly asked, "How will we keep from getting separated?"
"We'll drive slowly so that one car can follow the other," I reassured him.
"Yeah, but what if we DO get separated?" he persisted.
"Well, then I guess we'll never see each other again," I quipped.
"Okay," he said. "I'm riding with mom.
Following an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother, eight noisy and shoving siblings, and I arrived at Rheine-Main Air Base in Germany.
"Do you have any weapons or illegal drugs in your possession?" the customs agent asked my weary mother.
"Sir," she said while separating my brother and me, "if I had either of those items, I would have used them by now."
The quarrel had reached a new height when the wife said to her spouse, "I wish I'd taken my mother's advice and never married you."
Hubby swung around, "Do you mean to tell me that your mother tried to stop you from marrying me?"
Wife nodded in the affirmative.
"Good heavens," cried the husband, his voice filled with remorse. "How I've wronged that woman."
Little Johnny's mother was in the hospital, and he was visiting to see his new brother. He wandered into an adjoining room which was occupied by a woman with a broken leg.
"Hello," he said. "How long you been here?"
"Oh, about two weeks."
"May I see your baby," he then ask.
"Why I haven't got a baby," the woman replied.
"Gee, you are slow. My mama's been here just two days and she's got one."