Father: Are you playing with that video game again? What about studying?! What about homework?!
Son: Ahhh, school is such a bore!
Father: Listen, when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he walked ten miles to school! When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he did his homework by fire-light!
Son: And when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he was President of the United States!
Johnny, age 6, and his dad went for a drive. Upon returning home, Johnny's mom asked, "What did you see, today?"
Johnny replied, "3 idiots, 1 dumb fool, 4 morons, and 1 that Daddy said I should not tell you about."
Father: I finally won a battle in the never-ending war between parents and children.
Mother: That I’d like to see.
Father: Take a look.
Mother: Well, I’ll be darned! That’s our son out there, actually mowing the lawn! How in the world did you ever manage that?
Father: He wanted to borrow the car, and I told him I’d lost keys in the overgrown grass!
My 14 year old daughter got up from the table after eating a bowl of cereal, so I told her to put the milk away. Then we had this exchange:
"Before you put that back in the fridge, why don't you plug it into the iPhone charger on the counter first?"
"What? What are you talking about?"
"Yeah, you gotta charge up that milk... it's only at 1%!"