family jokes
Favorite this joke It seems I have spent a lifetime of mouthing mechanically, “Say thank you... Sit up straight... Use your napkin... Close your mouth when you chew... Don’t lean back in your chair...”
Just when I finally got my husband squared away, the kids came along.
10th Place
won
$5.00
Just as I arrived home after working the night shift, my wife told me to go checkout our five-year-old son's bed. When I entered Jimmie's room, I saw that his bed had collapsed and the mattress was sitting on the floor.
"What happened?" I asked him.
He responded, "God did it."
Interesting, I thought, and went back to tell my wife. Laughing she said that when she had heard the crash, she ran into Jimmie's room, saying, "Oh God, what have you done now?"
Daughter: Alexa, play Let It Go.
Dad: When I was your age, I had to call a radio station, wait on hold for 30 minutes to request a song, then sit by my boom box for an hour for my song to play with a blank cassette tape so I could record it.
Daughter: I don't understand any of that.
Dad: “Son, I named you after my father.”
After My Father: “I know, Dad, I know.”
4th Place
won
$12.00
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