family jokes

My father said I missed parts of the lawn when I cut it.

He told me people are respected when they do stand-up work.

My father has always been a wise man so I followed his wishes and became a comedian.

At Sunday dinner I told my wife and my son a joke. They didn't laugh. They said I was not funny. So, the next week I took two pieces of paper and wrote "Humor" on the paper. I then found a scented candle my wife likes and taped one piece of paper to it.

I also took the glass jar where she puts her pennies, dimes, nickels and quarters and taped the other piece of paper. I put them both on the table. When my wife saw them, pointing to the candle she asked, "What's this?"

I said, "This is your Scent of Humor."

She then pointed to the glass jar with all the coins in it, "And what's this?"

My reply: "This is your Cents of Humor."

The wife ran into the house, screaming to her actor husband,...

"Darling, come quick! Your kids and my kids are beating up on our kids!"