Friend: "What are you going to give your mother-in-law for Christmas?"
Me: "Her son back!"
Our mom needed a new mattress for her antique bed, so my brother Josh and I decided to buy her one as a gift. The problem was we weren't sure what to get because it was an odd size. Fortunately, my brother happened to be visiting my mother one day when I called home.
"Measure the bed frame before you leave," I told him.
"I don't have a tape measure."
"You can use a dollar bill," I suggested, "each one is six inches long."
"Can't," he replied after digging through his wallet, "I only have a ten."
Little Emily ran into the house, crying as though her heart would break.
"What's wrong, dear?" asked her mother.
"My doll! Billy broke it!" she sobbed.
"How did he break it, Emily?"
"I hit him over the head with it."
The Sultan of Brunei had 6 children, all girls. Therefore, he had no son and no heir. Imagine his joy then, when one of his wives presented him with his only son and heir. Just before his son's sixth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side and said, "Son, I am very proud of you. Anything you want, I shall get for you."
His son replied, "Daddy, I would like an aeroplane." Not wanting to do anything halfway, his father bought him British Airways.
Just before his son's seventh birthday, the Sultan took him to one side. "Son, you are my pride and joy. Anything you want, I shall get for you."
His son replied, "Daddy, I would like a boat." Not wanting to do anything halfway, his father bought him P&O Ferries.
Just before his son's eighth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side. "Son, you bring so much happiness into my life. Anything you want, I shall get for you."
His son, who had caught the 'Western movie' bug replied, "Daddy, I would like a cowboy outfit." Not wanting to do anything halfway, his father went and bought him Microsoft.