family jokes
Favorite this joke My husband has always had a beard. One day, he decided to shave it off. He came into the room where my 5-year-old daughter Samantha was and asked her, "Notice anything different?"
To which she replied, "No," with a puzzled look on her face.
My husband then said to her, "My beard's gone."
Now the puzzled look disappeared and the innocent eyes appeared when she said, "I didn't take it!"
Constant nagging didn't seem to provide any relief from having to clean up the bathroom after each of my three teenage children.
After I cleaned it one day, I resorted to posting a sign that read: "Please leave the bathroom as you found it."
I noticed the bathroom was in the usual mess after my son used it, so I called, "Brian, how did you find the bathroom?"
After a brief pause, he replied, "Straight down the hall, first door on the right."
You Know You're A Mom When...
1. You automatically double-knot everything you tie.
2. You hear a baby cry in the grocery store, and you start to gently sway back and forth, back and forth. However, your children are at school.
3. You actually start to like the smell of strained carrots mixed with applesauce.
4. You get so into crafts you contemplate writing a book called 101 Fun Crafts to do with Dryer Lint and Eggshells.
5. You are out for a nice romantic meal with your husband, enjoying some real adult conversation, when suddenly you realize that you've reached over and started to cut up his steak.
A seven-year-old boy dressed in his pajamas was safely pulled over by police after driving his mom's car 20 miles because he wanted to visit his dad.
The mother said the boy is really in trouble because he was only supposed to go to 7-11 for a gallon of milk and a pack of cigarettes.
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