family jokes

A father was driving nails while constructing a play house for his children. The youngest boy asked if he could hammer a nail. The father granted his request and showed him how to do it.

The boy did as his father had explained and lightly tapped to set the nail before hammering it in but he struck his thumb. It wasn’t enough force to bruise or break the skin but the father also knew it couldn’t have felt good.

After a few more attempts with the exact same result the father asked his son if he could help. His son quickly answered by saying, “Yes, would you hold the nail so I can get a good swing at it?”

Father is giving his son some life advice.

Father: “If you want to be a good man, you must be honest and cautious in life.”

Son: “And what does that mean?”

Father: “You must fulfill everything you’ve promised.”

Son: “And cautious?”

Father: “Never make any promises.”

My teenage son asked me if I ever fell in love with a high school teacher.

"In fact, I did. She was gorgeous! I couldn't take my eyes off of her... I dreamt of a life together with her day and night."

"Wow! What happened with that, dad?" he excitedly asked.

"Your mom moved you to another school."

Waiter: I just wanted to let you know kids eat free.

Dad: Good, I'll have water and my daughter will have the steak and a kid's light beer.