family jokes

A lady married her husband's brother after she became a widow.

A few days passed, a friend came to her house. Upon seeing the picture of her ex husband on the wall, the friend asked, "Who is that?"

The lady replied, "Oh well, that's my brother-in-law."

David called his son-in-law Mike on their third marriage anniversary to congratulate them. As Mike picked up the phone, David said, "Congratulations Mike, on your marriage anniversary! What are you doing?"

With a heavy sigh, Mike replied, "Tolerating, Sir."

* Your feet stick to grape jelly on the kitchen floor--and you don't care.

* You can't find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to call you, and you run around the house madly, following the sound until you locate the phone downstairs in the laundry basket.

* Popsicle's become a food staple.

* Your favorite television show is a cartoon.

* You're so desperate for adult conversation that you spill your guts to the telemarketer that calls and HE hangs up on you!

* You buy cereal with marshmallows in it.

* You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.

* You have time to shave only one leg at a time.

* You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

* Your kid throws up and you catch it.

* You get up at 5:30 AM and you have no time to eat, sleep, drink or go to the bathroom, and yet... you still managed to gain 10 pounds.

10. Hot dogs with just a hint of Tabasco.

9. "Kids eat free" night at the steak house.

8. Pizza.

7. Broiled bologna benedict on rye.

6. Back-of-the-fridge goulash (with lots of pepper).

5. Chips and salsa.

4. Cocoa Puff surprise.

3. Something old, something blue, something frozen, call it stew.

2. Cold pizza.

1. Whatever's cooking at Grandma's.