A local lumberyard was having an open house, and my mother really wanted to go. Dad, though, had no interest.
After badgering him with no luck, she finally said, “If you don’t go, I’ll be the only woman there.”
Dad shrugged. “If I go, you’ll still be the only woman there.”
We gathered at our four year old's birthday party. I asked the birthday girl, "What does a dog say?"
She answered, "Ruff ruff."
"What does a cat say?"
"Meow meow."
I asked one more, "What does the duck say?"
"Quack quack?"
"Very good... okay, one more. What does your grandma say?"
She answered with the loud voice, "OH MY GOD!"
My wife just sent me a strange text message.
"There's a man on the bus next to me who keeps farting."
I replied, "That's okay. At least he isn't on your bus."
A lady married her husband's brother after she became a widow.
A few days passed, a friend came to her house. Upon seeing the picture of her ex husband on the wall, the friend asked, "Who is that?"
The lady replied, "Oh well, that's my brother-in-law."