family jokes

My husband, Ray, was attempting to build a patio for the first time. He bought 100 cement blocks. Laying them out in a pattern, he discovered the chosen area was too small.

He stacked the blocks against the house and cleared more space. The next day Ray put the cement blocks back down, only to find that the ground was too hard to keep the patio level.

He ordered a truckload of sand to be delivered the following morning. Again he stacked the 100 blocks against the house.

Observing all this, our next-door neighbor asked, "Ray, are you going to put your patio away every night?"

I asked my girlfriend to describe me in 5 words.

She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and ultimately I'm perfect!

Then she added that I also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces.

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it is apparent.

Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter.

Bad: She keeps interrupting.

Worse: With corrections.