During a lesson about adjectives, my friend, an elementary school teacher, asked her class to describe their mothers. One boy described his mother’s hair as auburn.
Impressed by his sophisticated word choice, my friend asked, “How do you know her hair color is auburn?”
Her student replied, “Because that’s what it says on the box.”
My neighbor’s wife came running up to me in the driveway the other day just jumping for joy! I didn’t know why she was jumping for joy but I started jumping up and down along with her.
She said, “I have some really great news!”
I said, “Great. Tell me what you’re so happy about.”
She stopped jumping just long enough to tell me that she was pregnant. I was happy for her. I know they have been trying for a long time. I told her, “That’s great! I couldn’t be happier for you!”
Then she said “Oh, there’s more!”
I asked, “What do you mean ‘more’?”
She said, “Well, we’re not having just ONE baby. We’re going to have TWINS!”
Amazed that she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked how she knew this.
She said, “Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and bought the Twin-Pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests came out positive!”
A housewife with three young children was getting dinner ready when the phone rang. The six-year-old picked it up and said, "Hi, Daddy!" and she began telling him about her day.
She then passed the phone to her brother and sister as was the custom whenever Daddy called from work.
When it was finally the wife's turn to talk she took the receiver and said, "Hi, honey."
"Thank goodness, lady," the voice on the other end replied. "I just called to tell you that the wallpaper you ordered is here!"
After a long day of shopping, my daughter and I stopped at a grocery store. I ran in to pick up a few things, leaving her in the car. As I approached the checkout I was surprised to see my daughter there waiting for me.
"Honey," I said, "what are you doing in here? I left the motor running."
"It's all right, Mom," she replied reassuringly. "I locked the doors."