family jokes

Category: "Family Jokes"
$50.00 won 7 votes
 

My sister is a know-it-all who bristles at anyone’s well-intentioned advice. But when our older sister gave her several clever tips, she was impressed.

"I have to hand it to Pat," she told me. "She really is smart. Not Jeopardy smart, more like Wheel of Fortune smart."

7 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "sravanthi" |
$15.00 won 4 votes

To keep their active two-year-old from roaming onto the busy street in front of their home, my sister and brother-in-law decided to put a gate across the driveway.

After working over two weekends on the project, Robert was ready to attach the lock to complete the job. He was working on the yard side of the gate, with his daughter nearby, when he dropped the screwdriver he was using and it rolled under the gate, out of his reach.

"I’ll get it, Daddy," Lauren called, nimbly crawling under the newly erected barrier.

4 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "sravanthi" |
$25.00 won 7 votes

Rushing to get to the movies, my husband and I told the kids we had to leave "right now" — at which point our teenage daughter headed for the bathroom to apply makeup. Her dad yelled for her to get in the car immediately, and headed for the garage grumbling.

On the way to the multiplex my husband glanced in the rearview mirror and caught our teen applying lipstick and blush, which produced the predictable lecture. "Look at your mom," he said. "She didn’t put on any makeup just to go sit in a dark movie theater."

From the back I heard, "Yeah, but Mom doesn’t need makeup." My heart swelling with the compliment, I turned back to thank this sweet, wonderful daughter of mine just as she continued, "Nobody looks at her."

7 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "stee" |
4 votes

My aunt and her 7 year-old daughter, Lisa, were talking at breakfast one morning when Lisa said, "Mommy, how come you have these gray hairs coming in on the top of your head?"

My Aunt replied, "Well sweetie, every time that you make mommy worry or tell a lie, I get a new gray hair."

Lisa, having this perplexed look on her face, then raises her head to look my aunt straight in the eyes. She then asks, "Is that why grandma is all gray mommy?"

4 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Michael Stephen Douglas" |