I was trying to decide what to do for a talent show I planned to enter.
Trusting my mother to help me out, I asked, “For the talent show, what do you think I should do, sing or put on a comedy act?”
Glancing up from her paper, she said dryly, “What’s the difference?”
A mom was playing "tooth fairy" and putting money under her little daughter's pillow when the child awoke and caught her in the act.
The mom froze, wondering how to explain to her tot that she was, in fact, the tooth fairy. But she was spared the trouble.
"You put that money back!" her daughter said indignantly. "The tooth fairy left that for me!"
A 4-year old son was eating an apple in the back seat of the car, when he asked, "Daddy, why is my apple turning brown?"
"Because," his dad explained, "after you ate the skin off, the meat of the apple came into contact with the air, which caused it to oxidize, thus changing the molecular structure and turning it into a different color."
There was a long silence. Then the son asked softly, "Daddy, are you talking to me?"
I was watching the game at my parents home and I asked for something to eat. My dad said, "Go ahead and eat some of the peanuts in the bowl beside the chair."
I ended up eating them all and as I was leaving I said that I was sorry and would replace them. That's when dad said, "Ever since I lost my teeth, all I can do is suck the chocolate off them."