family jokes

Category: "Family Jokes"
3 votes

“Mom, dad, sit down. I have something very important to tell you,” said Samantha, upon her return home from college after graduation.

“I met a guy who lives near the college that I really like and we decided we are going to get married!”

“Oh Samantha! I am so happy for you!” gushed her mom giving, her a big hug. “I hope you two will be really happy together! I can’t wait to meet him!”

“Tell us more about him” said her dad, “does he have any money?”

“Oh Dad! Is that all you men ever think about? That was the first question he asked me about you too!”

3 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$9.00 won 5 votes

When we moved cross-country, my wife and I decided to drive both of our cars. Nathan, our eight-year-old, worriedly asked, "How will we keep from getting separated?"

"We'll drive slowly so that one car can follow the other," I reassured him.

"Yeah, but what if we DO get separated?" he persisted.

"Well, then I guess we'll never see each other again," I quipped.

"Okay," he said. "I'm riding with mom.

5 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "HENNE" |
2 votes

Following an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother, eight noisy and shoving siblings, and I arrived at Rheine-Main Air Base in Germany.

"Do you have any weapons or illegal drugs in your possession?" the customs agent asked my weary mother.

"Sir," she said while separating my brother and me, "if I had either of those items, I would have used them by now."

2 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$15.00 won 10 votes

The quarrel had reached a new height when the wife said to her spouse, "I wish I'd taken my mother's advice and never married you."

Hubby swung around, "Do you mean to tell me that your mother tried to stop you from marrying me?"

Wife nodded in the affirmative.

"Good heavens," cried the husband, his voice filled with remorse. "How I've wronged that woman."

10 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Egbert" |