family jokes

While fixing his roof, a man fell off of the ladder. After meeting with his wife later, he told her that four ribs were broken.

"Four ribs broken?!" she gasps. "Which hospital did you go to?"

"I didn't have to go to the hospital." he replies. His wife stares in perplexity. "Four broken ribs and you didn't have to go to the hospital?"

"No, it was the fella I landed on who broke four ribs."

Told my wife I was going to start smoking pot.

She said if I did she was going to leave me.

That's proof that it gets rid of aches and pains!

When Ruth's grandson Jordan was 5, he always told everyone he wanted to be a doctor when he grew up. One day he was running through the house and into the corner of a chair and hurt his eye. He cried for a while and kept saying, "Oh no, oh no, now I can't be a doctor when I grow up."

Ruth assured him he could still be a doctor and Jordan kept telling her he couldn't.

Finally, she asked, "Why can't you be a doctor?"

Holding one hand over his eye, Jordan said, "Because now I will have to be a pirate!"