I now know how it will end for me...
One of my kid's will unplug my life support to charge their phone.
When I was a child, my parents used to always say "Pardon my French" after a swear word.
I'll never forget the first day of French, when my teacher asked us if any of us knew any French.
After our brand-new washing machine broke down, my in-laws, my husband, and I were discussing how today’s appliances can’t compete with the quality of those made 50 years ago.
“Oh, yes,” agreed my mother-in-law, never a fan of housework. “Years ago they were built to last. I’ve still got the same iron from when we were first married, and there’s not a thing wrong with it.”
Dryly, my father-in-law added, "Well, yes, but it’s never been out of the box, dear."
Jane Benson returned home from college one day to see her family. While chatting together at dinner, her five year old brother Joey overheard Jane speaking about her boyfriend William. "I thought his name was Billy." Joey said.
His mother replied, "William is another name for Billy, dear."
That night, before Joey went to bed, Jane came to see him. "Would you like me to read you an anecdote?" she asked. Joey tilted his head curiously. "What's an anecdote?"
"An anecdote is a tale." Jane replied.
After reading Joey his bedtime story, Jane gets up to leave. "Would you like me to douse the light?" she asked. Joey looked at her curiously again. "What's douse mean?"
"Douse means to put out." Jane replied.
The next day, Jane took her younger siblings to a local petting zoo. "How was the petting zoo?" their parents asked upon their return home.
"It was great!" Joey replied. "I saw a William goat get into one of the cages, but one of the keepers took him by the anecdote and doused him."