Little Jenny: Hi Mommy, where is Daddy?
Mother: He's lying on the couch and has been watching baseball all day. Why do you ask?
Little Jenny: I wanted to tell him what we learned in school today.
Mother: Oh yeah sweetie, and what was that?
Little Jenny: Well, the teacher taught us that the human body has 270 bones at birth and 206 by adulthood.
Mother: Wow Jenny! I did not know that, but I'm afraid that your teacher is incorrect when it comes to your Father though.
Little Jenny: Really Mommy, why is that?
Mother: Because he has an extra one, for a total of 207. It's named the Lazy-bone.
Grandfather: Son, you've got your shoes on the wrong feet.
Grandson: But these are the only feet I have?
Grandfather: Fair enough.
After completing dinner, a husband carries his plate to the sink and starts washing it.
His wife looks at him in disbelief and says, "Honey, we are not at home. This is a restaurant."
My son crawled for the first time while I was away on business. I also missed his first steps. I was now afraid I would miss his first words. Each day, I called home and asked if he had spoken yet.
The answer was always "no" until one day my wife said, "Harry has something to say to you.... 'Daddy, daddy,'"
I heard it over the phone and I glowed with pride. My wife came back on the line and said, "You should come home as soon as possible."
"Why?" I asked.
"He was speaking to the dog."