family jokes

We were standing in line outside a busy restaurant. The hostess was checking to find out how many people were in each group. "Party of two," we requested, "and could we please have Michelle?"

"Michelle?" asked the hostess.

"Michelle is my daughter, and just once in my life I want her to wait on me!"

Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."

"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests.

First, she wanted to be cremated. Second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Walmart.

"Walmart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Walmart?"

"Then I'll be sure my daughters will visit me twice a week."