family jokes

Young Actor: "Dad, guess what? I've just got my first part in a play. I play the part of a man who's been married for 30 years."

Father: "Well, keep at it, son. Maybe one day you'll get a speaking part."

When I was young, a bully was trying to pick a fight with me.

He said, "My dad can whoop your dad!"

I replied, "So what, so can my mom!"

We were standing in line outside a busy restaurant. The hostess was checking to find out how many people were in each group. "Party of two," we requested, "and could we please have Michelle?"

"Michelle?" asked the hostess.

"Michelle is my daughter, and just once in my life I want her to wait on me!"