family jokes

A child psychologist had twin boys—one was an optimist; the other, a pessimist. Just to see what would happen, on Christmas Day he loaded the pessimist’s room with toys and games. In the optimist’s room, he dumped a pile of horse droppings.

That night, the father found the pessimist surrounded by his gifts, crying.

“What’s wrong?” the father asked.

“I have a ton of game manuals to read … I need batteries … and my toys will all eventually get broken!” sobbed the pessimist.

Passing the optimist’s room, the father found him dancing for joy around the pile of droppings. “Why are you so happy?” he asked.

The optimist shouted, “There’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!”

Dad rarely dresses up, so when he left the bedroom decked out in a suit and tie, he wanted to commemorate the moment.

Handing me his camera, he asked, “Mind taking a selfie of me?”

My three-year-old grandson sat in the bathroom with me, watching as I removed my dentures and brushed them.

After a few minutes, he asked, “Can you take your ears off too?”