Mary Profile

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Mary

User Details

Member Since : Oct, 2016
# of jokes posted : 39
# of followers : 3
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 3
Location: United States
won: $ 569.00
1 votes

On his birthday, my husband was stuck driving our six rambunctious children around. As usual, they were yelling, punching, and annoying one another. Joel finally had had enough.

“Kids,” he said, “if you would behave and be kind to each other, that would be a very nice birthday present for me.”

Our six-year-old shot back, “Too late dad, I already got you another present.”

1 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Mary" |
$15.00 won 20 votes

“My great-grandma gave me this money,” said my three-year-old, happily clutching a $20 bill he’d gotten as a present.

“That’s right,” I said. “How did you know that?”

Pointing to Andrew Jackson’s face in the middle, he said, “Because her picture is on it.”

20 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Mary" |
$15.00 won 29 votes

What do Black Friday shoppers and the Thanksgiving turkey have in common?

They know what it’s like to be stuffed and then jammed into a small place.

29 votes

CATEGORY Puns
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Mary" |
$15.00 won 17 votes

The village blacksmith hired an enthusiastic new apprentice willing to work long, hard hours.

He instructed the boy, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil. When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.”

The apprentice did exactly as he was told, and now he’s the new village blacksmith.

17 votes

CATEGORY Puns
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Mary" |