family jokes

Son to dad: "Dad, why don’t you buy me a car?"

Dad: "My dear son, God gave you two legs for what purpose?"

Son: "One leg is for the brake and the other for the accelerator."

I reluctantly went shopping with my wife so she could buy a new dress. She tried on several but they didn't fit.

As she came out of the fitting room totally frustrated she remarked, "Nothing my size fits me anymore."

"Anton, am I a good mother?"

"My name is Paul."

A father and his 9 year old son were at the nearby bowling alley.

"Hey dad, why is that man wearing that weird looking hat while he's bowling?" his son blurted out.

"Oh that's normal son" he answered. "That hat is called a bowler."