Alex to his friend Francis: “Yesterday was my wife’s birthday, and I asked her, 'What gift would you like to have?'”
Francis : “What did she say?"
Alex: "She said, 'Give me anything which has diamonds in it.'”
Francis: “So what did you give her?”
Alex: “A deck of playing cards.”
Robert to Doctor: “Doctor, I have a serious problem. I dream of football matches every night."
Doctor: "Don’t worry. I will cure it right now. Take this pill and you will be alright.”
Robert: "Doctor, would it be okay to wait and take the pill tomorrow?”
Robert: “Doc, today is the final match. I have to see the season through and know which team is going to win it all!”
“Teacher, I ain’t got no pencils,” says little Tom.
The teacher corrects him immediately saying, "The correct way to say it is, I don’t have any pencils, he doesn’t have any pencils, or they don’t have any pencils.' Do you understand?"
"What happened to all the pencils?”