A sweater is a garment worn by a child...
When his mother feels chilly.
My wife called. She said, "The two kids want you to take them bowling on Saturday, then afterwards they want you to take them to the cinema."
"It's either one or the other," I said. "Otherwise it's too expensive."
"OK" she replied. "Which one do you prefer?"
I said, "David!"
I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers. One night I was chatting with my mom about how she had changed as a mother from the first child to the last. She told me she had mellowed a lot over the years.
"When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance. When your youngest brother swallowed a dime, I just told him it was coming out of his allowance."
Arriving home from work last night I saw that my son and daughter sat in silence. I asked what was wrong.
"Nothing's wrong, daddy," my daughter replied. "We're playing a game."
"What's the game?" I asked.
"Marriage," my son sighed.