A husband who has been working out as per his new years resolution says to his wife, "Honey, I think I took on too much for a beginner. I've decided to break up my workout."
"Oh?" his wife asked, "How's the new work-out divided up?"
The husband confidently replied, "Half for you and half for me."
Silence is golden...
Unless you have children...
If that is the case, silence is suspicious.
You are so boney...
That when you run on the track, all the neighborhood dogs chase you.
When my mother was called for jury duty, she felt confident of her ability to answer the questions asked of prospective jurors. As a young attorney, I had filled her in on what to expect.
Asked about the occupations of family members, Mom answered, "My son is a lawyer."
As a follow-up, she was asked if she had ever used the services of an attorney.
"Only to mow my lawn."