You are so boney...
That when you run on the track, all the neighborhood dogs chase you.
When my mother was called for jury duty, she felt confident of her ability to answer the questions asked of prospective jurors. As a young attorney, I had filled her in on what to expect.
Asked about the occupations of family members, Mom answered, "My son is a lawyer."
As a follow-up, she was asked if she had ever used the services of an attorney.
"Only to mow my lawn."
A teenage girl had just been given family-car privileges. One Friday night she returned home very late from a party.
The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning. At 11:30 am the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, "What time did you get in last night?"
"Not too late, Dad," she replied nervously.
Dead-panned, her father said, "Then I'll have to talk to the paperboy about putting my paper under the front tire of the car."
“Daddy, I inherited my intelligence from you, didn’t I?”
“That’s right my clever girl!”
“That makes sense, because mommy still has hers.”