family jokes

BARBER: (To a long-haired teenager) You're next.

TEENAGER: I'm not waiting for a haircut.

BARBER: What are you waiting for?

TEENAGER: Nothing. My Dad's looking for me and this is the last place in the world he would look.

Grandson: "When did you first realize you were getting old, grandpa?"

Grandpa: "When I started having my midnight snack at 9:30 pm."

Daughter: "Mom, are you gaining some weights?"

Mother: "Hon, it's because your dad always makes me angry. When I am mad, I eat a lot."

Daughter: "No wonder dad is bigger."

"Peter!" his mother scolded. "There were two cookies in the pantry this morning but now there's only one! Do you have an explanation?"

Peter replied, "It must have been too dark and I didn't see the other one."