family jokes
Favorite this joke On day when returning home from work my wife proceeded to tell me that she had been called into the principal's office because of the things OUR SON had done at school that day.
We agreed that he should be disciplined the same was I was disciplined when I was his age: being sent to my room without supper.
But in my son's room, he has his own color TV, telephone, computer, and CD player. So what is a parent to do in this day and age?
We sent him to MY room!
When a trick went wrong, an amateur magician accidentally turned his wife into a couch and his two children into armchairs. He tried everything he knew to reverse the trick but when all attempts failed, he took them to a hospital.
He paced up and down in casualty for hours until finally a junior doctor came out to see him.
“My wife is a couch and my two children are armchairs,” said the magician. “I need to know how they’re doing.”
The doctor glanced at his notes and said, “They’re comfortable.”
Two mothers met for coffee. "Well Ruthie, how are the kids?"
"To tell you the truth, my son has married a real tramp!" says Ruth. "She doesn't get out of bed until 11. She's out all day spending his money on Heaven knows what, and when he gets home, exhausted, does she have a nice hot dinner for him? Ha! She makes him take her out to dinner at an expensive restaurant."
"Oh! What a shame. And how about your daughter?"
"Ah! Now there's a lucky girl. She has married a saint. He brings her breakfast in bed, he gives her enough money to buy whatever she needs, and in the evening he always takes her out to dinner at a nice restaurant."
I was making Play-doh animals with my four-year-old niece, Chris, and her three-year-old brother, Neil. While Chris was clearly molding a crude but recognizable dog, figuring what Neil was making was a bit more challenging.
"It's a cat," he told me, "but a truck ran over it."
Sometime later, Chris had made another simple animal shape, but Neil had a rather flat slab of dough on the table in front of him.
"What happened to this one?" I asked.
Neil shrugged and said simply, "Same truck."
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